I had the responsibility to be the bearer of bad news… again. This time it was with our Freedom Seekers group as I announced that one of our own has fallen back in to old behavior and lost his life in the battle between life-controlling sin and life.
The news was quite shocking to Jim and I when we received it last week. The meeting prior to his passing we had spent our time in a practical conversation about how to ‘make it’ through the holidays. Many times people who are newly in recovery are unprepared to face the stress of holiday gatherings with the social pressures that come with them. As a result, we have annually committed the meeting the week of Thanksgiving to preparation for the potential challenges and pitfalls that our group faces.
Financial stress, the pressures social drinking and drug use and the dynamics of the family all add to the stress for this crowd. Many times they are facing the decision to walk away from temptation of old behaviors for the first time while at the same time they long to reconnect with their families in order to show their ‘changed self.’ Sometimes the pressures are too great.
So, in our teaching to equip them with tools to make it through we include the following practical survival techniques:
- Have phone numbers: many times they just need to talk about the pressure
- Make an exit plan: know when you are going to leave before you go
- Have your own transportation: this way they are free to leave when ready
- Watch the crowd: if the party becomes uncomfortable, leave
- Don’t plan to resolve a life’s worth of ‘family stuff’ over turkey: this NEVER works
- Discuss your plan with your partner BEFORE you go: saves on having to argue your case in the middle of things
- Don’t let anyone, no matter how well-meaning talk you out of your plan
We also have our group share what they are most looking forward to. For most it is that they are going to experience their family while being sober for the first time in years. There is a healthy sense of pride and accomplishment that goes with that. That is what our friend was planning to do. We are grateful that happened before he met Jesus face to face.
1 comment:
I think my very biggest obsticle in the holidays is that desperately want to be with my kids and grandkids. They live in CA and since I work in retail, I can never take a vacation to be with them. I would love to see Christmas thru my grandkids eyes again. It is so exciting!
It's no the parties and family gatherings for me during the holidays, but the sadness of being away from them that leaves me vulnerable to doing thing I shoudn't.
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