SURVIVAL

I had the responsibility to be the bearer of bad news… again.  This time it was with our Freedom Seekers group as I announced that one of our own has fallen back in to old behavior and lost his life in the battle between life-controlling sin and life.  

The news was quite shocking to Jim and I when we received it last week.  The meeting prior to his passing we had spent our time in a practical conversation about how to ‘make it’ through the holidays.  Many times people who are newly in recovery are unprepared to face the stress of holiday gatherings with the social pressures that come with them.  As a result, we have annually committed the meeting the week of Thanksgiving to preparation for the potential challenges and pitfalls that our group faces.

Financial stress, the pressures social drinking and drug use and the dynamics of the family all add to the stress for this crowd.  Many times they are facing the decision to walk away from temptation of old behaviors for the first time while at the same time they long to reconnect with their families in order to show their ‘changed self.’  Sometimes the pressures are too great.  

So, in our teaching to equip them with tools to make it through we include the following practical survival techniques:

• Have phone numbers: many times they just need to talk about the pressure
• Make an exit plan: know when you are going to leave before you go
• Have your own transportation: this way they are free to leave when ready
• Watch the crowd: if the party becomes uncomfortable, leave
• Don’t plan to resolve a life’s worth of ‘family stuff’ over turkey: this NEVER works
• Discuss your plan with your partner BEFORE you go: saves on having to argue your case in the middle of things
• Don’t let anyone, no matter how well-meaning talk you out of your plan

We also have our group share what they are most looking forward to.  For most it is that they are going to experience their family while being sober for the first time in years.  There is a healthy sense of pride and accomplishment that goes with that.  That is what our friend was planning to do.  We are grateful that happened before he met Jesus face to face.

INVISIBLE

I grew up like a lot of kids.  Maybe not like you, but many kids like me made every effort to be invisible.  We went to great lengths to not ‘make waves.’  To be ‘seen and not heard’ was even a big risk to us.  For me, home was a dangerous place.  I believe my parents did their best, but it was not very high on the charts.

The best news is that I lived.  I used various coping mechanisms the escape and numb the pain for many years.  I believe they reserved my sanity. More than that, I believe that God pulled me through because His plan was not for me to be invisible.  Instead, in the midst of my abuse He clearly called me, as I remember it, to ‘be a leader in the church.’  Twenty-three years ago He saved me from my most self-destructive habits as well as my sin.

With the help of others I began to recover and serve as a way to give back and spread the Good News.  That service has placed me in some of the finest institutions: jails, prisons, half-way houses, mental institutions, detox units in hospitals and, of course churches.  In these places I have tried to serve while remaining invisible.  It has been fairly easy to do, but now God has changed that practice for me.

In Matthew 5:15,16 it says “You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.”  

Recently I am made aware that I am safe enough not to have to be invisible.  Instead I need to step out and take a few more risks.  This is challenging, but my obedience pleases my Father in Heaven.  So, in big ways and small ways I will begin to practice this.  And yes, beginning to blog again has been part of that.  Thanks for joining me on another great adventure sponsored by God.

GENEROSITY

This past Wednesday afternoon I received a message from a KFAer who works at a local foster care agency.  She express that they were in need of gifts for some of the children under their care.  My initial response (in my head) was that I was not sure that, based on her timeframe that we could find small groups to cover the need… BUT, I wanted to do all I could to say “YES” before I had to say “no”.  So, I emailed all of our small group leaders to test that waters of willingness. Our leaders are so AWESOME that by the time I left my desk that night I had almost enough inquiries to fill the need!

Today many of us met in the KFA North Commons for a Potato Bar lunch to benefit “Speed the Light”, an Assemblies ministry for youth to support missionaries.  It was a loaded potato for a donation.  Not only was it great to see KFAers turn out to support this event, but also to see the fellowship go on long after the last chili and cheese had been ladled out.  

We are blessed with some of the most generous, caring givers in our fellowship.  I believe it makes God smile when people use their gifts to bless others. 

SMARTER

Last night at Freedom Seekers we did something that I love to do.  Since I was running group I decided it would be Q&A night, which I quietly call “Stump the Pastor.”  This format gives the group a chance to ask questions about God, recovery, relationships, etc. and receive answers/feedback from the Freedom Seekers leadership team.

By the end of the night some of the questions we had answered included questions about prayer (Do I pray to God or Jesus or does it matter?), sleep (I keep waking up at the same time every night… does this mean anything?), recovery (How long will I do these 12 steps before I see change in my life?), suicide (Do people who commit suicide go straight to hell?) and relationships (How do I re-connect with my spouse?).

The feedback was good.  Our people, who have know the pleasures of the world and the heartbreak of living far from God, had the opportunity to study about the veil in the Temple being torn from top to bottom at the moment of Christ’s death and what that symbolizes. They also studied the three types of baptisms in the bible (John’s, Jesus’ and the Holy Spirit’s) while at the same time hearing practical, relevant answers to their ‘real life’ questions.  It was a great night.  I think we all left feeling just a little bit smarter.

REST IN PEACE

Today Jim and I stood in line to file past the casket of a friend’s father. Most of the people in the crowded room were strangers to me although there were KFAers in the mix. When we reached the family I was blessed by the warm reception of the sisters of the deceased man. Each of them wept in my arms and mentioned the great comfort and connection that they felt with me after the hours that we had recently spent together in the hospital. I, too, acknowledged my connection with them.  We had been together in one of the most intimate moments a person could share.  

I can’t help but think of what a blessing it is to be with people as their worlds are changing and their hearts are breaking. It is certainly not for everyone.  Sometimes it goes against every comfortable fiber of my being to walk into these situations, yet it is such a privilege to listen and pray and drop a pearl of wisdom into the depth of their brokenness and pain.  It is a ‘called’ place.  It is a task that only the Comforter can walk me through.  I can only submit and bravely move in with steps guided by a gracious God.

At times like this I reflect on PEACE.  Jesus said “I am leaving you with a gift—peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don’t be troubled or afraid,” John 14:27.  This peace is available to us all, regardless of the situations or circumstances of our lives and in it we find REST.

Take care-

SERVICE

One of the lessons I learned early in my journey with Christ was that gratitude is an action word.  The often repeated phrase began “My gratitude SPEAKS when I care and when I share with others…”  The biblical counterpart to that is when Christ said that leaders are to be servants as He washed the feet of the twelve… even the one He KNEW would betray Him. and then said, “Now that you know these things, God will bless you for doing them.” (John 13:17)

Most people, regardless of where they are in their journey with Christ (including those who don’t yet know Him) want to do good deeds.  We see this when people who say they are opposed to ‘organized religion’ will roll up their sleeves on a church project if the benefit is for the community.  Regardless if the motive is to glorify God, the outcome still does.  

But today is “BLACK FRIDAY” so America has now flipped the focus from what we HAVE to what we WANT NEXT.  So to all those who stayed up or camped out all night in freezing temperatures, I want to personally thank you for doing your part to stimulate the economy.  Please try to glorify God in the long lines of harried shoppers.

Take care-

PERSPECTIVE

Yesterday was a life-changing day. As I was packing up my laptop and heading to pick up the last of my holiday meal fixin’s my text notification rang on my phone. “It is a matter of time now” was what I heard from my dear friend who, along with her extended family have been sitting bedside while her stepfather was succumbing to his cancer battle. While the family knew of the diagnosis and what the end result would be, it is always “too soon” to say goodbye.

On the way home the next call my husband, Jim. He had been laid off from his job of 7 years. This was not breaking news as the company had been facing financial issues and had already laid off (‘furlough’ is the new buzz word for this) the majority of the staff.

Now that I am less numb, I guess that I am facing the reality that everything here is temporary. This is not new information, just something that I occasionally “choose not to look at” from my comfortable spot. Yet the Word that is hidden in my heart says: “So we don’t look at the troubles we can see now; rather, we fix our gaze on things that cannot be seen. For the things we see now will soon be gone, but the things we cannot see will last forever.” (2 Corinthians 4:18 - NLT) It sounds like an instruction to be very intentional about our focus. Now I read for the context of the verse and this is what precedes it: “For our present troubles are small and won’t last very long. Yet they produce for us a glory that vastly outweighs them and will last forever! “

OK, so if I believe God’s Word is true and without error, the question remains, “What am I going to do with this.” I’ll keep you posted.

Take care-